When he was 12

Whenever I close my eyes
I went back to the time when I was 12
Like every boy I wasn’t wise
But I had many dreams
Whenever I saw Racing cars and airplanes
My eyes beams,
But I didn’t knew the realities like I said wasn’t wise.
We had a neighbor who I used to think was cool
Wow I was such a fool,
We used to play video games and with my toys
But I couldn’t understand his ploy.
I was just 12 hitting my puberty
My body changing, hormones and stuffs
I had no one to talk and share my bluffs
So he become my mentor
Taught me things initially I found interesting,
But slowly things started to get south
He started to do things
And threatened me to shut my mouth,
I was young and naive
So I couldn’t talk couldn’t leave
He did things I can’t even tell
My mom was worried so was my sister
She asked me to talk to her
But obeying him what I prefer
One day I fainted and my pant was tainted
That day he was very rough
and ordered me to be tough
I was unconscious so didn’t knew what happend
When I woke up they asked me questions
and that time I didn’t had answers
I was traumatized,
Now after 10 years I know everything
It took me years to get over
But it still made me cry everytime I remember.
I was harrased and molestated
In every ways I was raped
No one know this story exepct my family
I don’t have courage tell any and
This is the end of my story.

.

.

Sinnersoul

My head, My abode

My abode, My head
Seen the sunrises to sunsets,
As the world fades
I was always at my own pace.
Like a closed shell
I kept my thoughts to myself,
Sometimes when it overwhelm
I wrote things to keep me calm.
My abode my head
An isolated place
Through these poems
Or gibberish you can say!
I am letting you come take a look
To what lies inside.
My abode, my head
My safe haven.

.

.

Sinnersoul

These days

These days my sky is bleak
Night is cold and my days alone,
A constant longing in my heart
A desperate need to be free,
Silence looming in my mind
And unconscious my thoughts roam around,
My songs seems to lost its music
And my lungs are out of air,
All around seems lurking grieve
And I don’t know what I should believe,
These days I’m not ME.

.

.

Sinnersoul

The sky

The sky is mirroring my heart
Gloomy cloud hanging over; so dense and dark
Wind’s blowing deadly and scary
Like a ghost of my feelings haunting,
Lighting strikes following a thunder
And the whole world surrender,
Clouds clashing reminds me of my thoughts
Unending, constant fight never settle,
All around darkness like my own head
It seems like nature had copied my mind.

.

.

Sinnersoul

Trapped

Her newly grown body
And beautiful face
Emabracing her femininity
Like a sophisticated lady,
She had everything till the night she was raped
No one asked her, ‘How are you?’
Evidence disposed and she was sold,
But from the day she was first sold
Till now she still think where was she wrong,
From loving parents and caring brother
To a brothel her life changed.

It’s been years and now she is trained
To lure the customers and to please
Under all the make-up,
And seductive slit of her dress,
Appealing lacy bra for her perfect breasts
The bright shade of her lipstick
And her slim fit waist
Covering all the wounds her body trace,
The nights she was beaten till she faint
Times she was starved and cried
Still remember, but now she is trapped.



Confused

Words running through my head
But my fingers are numb
Wanted to shout but I’m dumb,
I wanna know where you hiding
But my heart is restraining
Still I wanted to touch you
And hold you
Don’t know what I want
I’m confused between what I want
Or what I can have
Or what is right
You ruined my sleep, my peace
And I know you enjoyed every piece
Breaking my heart
Now all I know I’m stuck
I know I can’t have you.

.

.

Sinnersoul